St. Peter, pray for us!

Our day was filled with physical science, american history, catholcism, biology, algebra, pre-algebra, general science, nouns and verbs, spelling, writing, reading, phonics, counting, and play dough! (oh, and of course, the ice cream we had before bed as a thank you for a job well done!) Can you guess what we did today?? One day down.... more than 100 left to go! I am proud of the effort my children put forth today! Today's schedule is complete (except for a couple math pages I still need to correct!) and I actually heard a few laughs while they were busy working away! I think we are off to a good start with our school year!

You may wonder why I invoked the prayers of St. Peter. Well, he is the patron of our school. A few years into this homeschool endeavor, Paul and I decided we should name our school. I asked Paul if he would pray about it and name our school himself. All I asked was that he would tell me why the name was so chosen. One day after some time in adoration, Paul came home to tell me he had the name for our school. It would be St. Peter's Catholic Home School. Paul went on to explain that since our desire in home educating our children is to give them a firm foundation in the faith first and for most, what better patron than St. Peter; the very foundation on which Christ chose to build His Church. I had to agree!

Our daily morning prayer:

O Holy Apostle, because you are the Rock upon which Almighty God has built His Church, obtain for me I pray you: lively faith, firm hope, and burning love, complete detachment from myself, contempt of the world, patience in adversity, humility in prosperity, recollection in prayer, purity of heart, a right intention in all my works, diligence in fulfilling the duties of my state in life, constancy in my resolutions, resignation to the will of God and perseverance in the grace of God even unto death; that so, by means of your intercession and your glorious merits, I may be made worthy to appear before the Chief and Eternal Shepherd of Souls, Jesus Christ, Who with the Father and the Holy Spirit, lives and reigns forever. Amen

Sweet Sorrow

Sweet: the many wonderful memories of almost 16 years spent married to the man of my dreams.

Sweet: the hugs and kisses given me today by the 5 beautiful children my marriage blessed me with.

Sweet: the time spent today praying in front of the Tabernacle.

Sweet: the friends with whom I will spend some time laughing this evening.

Sorrow: the absence of his physical presence here with me to celebrate what would have been our 17th anniversary.

Loving you today, Paul, and always. Thankful for all the blessings that our marriage gave to my life!

One year ago today...

...on another rainy, cloudy June 27th, a police officer came knocking on my door. With the words, "is there someplace we could talk?" my world started to unravel. So unexpectedly, Paul was called home to be with our heavenly Father. His life here on earth was done and we were to continue living without his physical presence here in our lives. It has been a tough year to say the least. So much my children and I have had to learn... how to fix and do the things Paul did; how to navigate the world of insurance forms, autopsies, social security, and title tranfers and most importantly; how to support and encourage each other when we all grieve so differently; how to enjoy being with one another again without Paul's laughter; how to sit and eat dinner as a family with his chair empty, and how to be a family in a single parent home. One year seems like such a brief moment. Some days the grief still sneaks in from no-where and catches us by surprise. BUT... we are moving forward. I am trying hard ot keep my promise to Paul that we will make him proud. We still cry at times, we still miss his presence. I think I have come to the conclusion that in some way a small part of that "grief" will stay with us forever. This has truley changed us, it's a part of us, it had formed us into the people we are today. We loved (and still love)Paul deeply, and so we hurt deeply. But, inspite of the hurt our hearts still feel at times, we choose to laugh, we choose to love, and we choose to go on living the lives God has laid out before us. We find hope in our faith, we find joy in the things we do together, and we find love in our family and friends!

Today two of Paul's brothers and their families and Paul's mother joined us at the cemetery. The military gives a footplate to a deceased vetran and today Paul's was placed in the ground. We each had an opportunity to sign the back of the footplate and Paul's brother Tim did a wonderful job making the cement slab the plate is now mounted to.







Then, today Tim, Steve, James and Myriah "planted" it.

It looks great!

After lunch here at the house, the three older kids joined Paul's mom for a cousin's wedding celebration (a wedding is not my first choice of activites for today, so I am glad the kids had a chance to go as I know they will have fun.) The younger kids and I will be joining Tim, Jen and Ava for some fun at a food fest. All in all, not a half bad day!

Thanks for all the love, support, and encouragement from all of our family and friends this past year. We would not have come this far without each and everyone of you! We love you all and pray for you often!

Catch up, part 2

Memorial Day was a little more special this year. There was a flag raising ceremony at the cemetery honoring the local men and women who have served our country and have died, as a vetran or in combat. These six flags are the flags that were presented to the families at the time of the funeral. Paul's flag is the 2nd one from the right. It was nice to have him honored!

Paul's brother, Tim (retired army) came in his dress uniform. He looked great and it meant a lot to me and to the kids as we knew he was dressed in his uniform to honor his brother. Paul's mother, Tim's wife and daughter, Paul's sister and her two children and a friend of Myriah's and her mother had joined us as well. It was great to have the support of family with us as we remembered Paul!

Of course, we had to stop by Paul's grave and "visit" for awhile. The kids and I each placed a flag near the headstone.


I absolutly love this picture of Lawrence spending time with his daddy!

A life remembered!

The kids and I just returned from the cemetery. Today is Paul's birthday. He would have turned 41 today. We had cupcakes with rainbow colored frosting swirled on top. We opened a bottle of wine he recieved for his 40th birthday last year that he never had the chance to open and we toasted a man who lived his life well, full of faith in God and love for his family. (The kids had one tiny sip each, I had a small glass and then we poured the rest of the bottle out over his grave!!) We hugged, we cried, and we prayed together. And, of course, you just can't remember that man without smiling and laughing!! We smiled as we thought of what dad would be thinking as we poured wine all over his grave. We laughed as we talked about how Paul and I would have tried to out do each other trying to celebrate his birthday and Mother's Day on the same day (each one of us trying to make the other decide what we were going to do today, each trying to kick the other out of the kitchen while a special meal was prepared. Yeah, it would have been quite humorous. It sure was the last time his birthday landed on Mother's Day.)

Paul, you are never far from our thoughts! We still love you and cherish the life we shared with you! You lived your life well and left us with so many wonderful memories to share.

We said good bye!

It was the hardest thing I have ever had to face! I am so amazed at how my dear sweet simple quiet Paul has touched so many lives. Me??? Well I knew he was amazing, I just didn't know every one else thought so too. So many people turned out to support us and to say good bye! So many have sent such wonderful cards and told such sweet things about this man. I wonder why God would take such a man from this earth when he made such an impact here.
Through everything, I wanted his story told! I wanted everyone who came to the wake and funeral to have a glimps into who Paul was (I didn't realize so many already new). I wanted the picture boards to let people see what kind of love he gave to his family and to his faith. I read my good bye letter to Paul at the wake. As I wrote it to put in the casket, it never accured to me that I would share it. But after I finished writing it, I just knew I wanted to world to know, I wanted to shout from the mountain top how much I loved him. I wanted Paul to hear me tell the world what I thought of him. I needed people to know, to hear what he gave to me. I am glad I had the strength to do so! Words would never be adaquate for him, but at least I tried!
As we came home yesterday evening, I came face to face with the reality that now life has to go on. I fealt (and feel) so lost now.
Mornings are truly the most difficult time of day. I have dreamt of him every night and then every morning I must face that he is gone once again. It's so unreal that today marks one week since my dear hubby left this world to go home! I know the veil between heaven and earth is but a thin covering and he is very near us. Closer today (and now for always) than he ever was here on earth. And I can honestly say, "I have never been more homesick than now." I long for the day when I will see my Lord and my prince charming coming for me! In the meantime, I will choose to find a way, little by little, breath by breath, grace by grace to find a way to go and to keep his memory and all that he held dear alive in his children.
Remember this.... no matter how short the time, how hard the good byes, how painful the days after.... if your spouse knows the Lord, loves you, and lives life fully... then your life is beautiful! Then you have a true blessing. Cherish what you have. Take the time to say I love you. Do not be afraid to give your whole heart, do not hold back. It may get broken someday too.... but it would still be worth it all. I have found that the amount of grief we bare is in direct proportion to the joy we had. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Happy Father's Day

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad.

~Author Unknown~

A little bit of sunshine on a very rainy day!

Romance is alive and well in this house today! It has been raining for the entire morning and now into the afternoon. Shortly before lunch my hubby popped in, totally unexpected. He had been up north for work and had to pass close to home on his way back to the wharehouse. And he didn't come in empty handed. He had stopped by the roadside and brought me these:

I love the smell of lilacs and this bunch covers half my kitchen table! All I can say is "Thanks, honey! You totally brightened my day!"

Happy 40th Birthday (yesterday)

to a terrific, wonderful, fun-loving, faith-filled father and husband. We love you!

REALLY????

Ok... had to have Paul take the "what holiday are you?" quiz. Here's the result. It was good for a laugh!! He is so NOT romantic (ok, he has his moments)or sentimental. However, he is warm hearted, and does find it easy to care for people

You Are Valentine's Day

You are a true romantic who places the ultimate importance on love. You are warm hearted, and you find it easy to care for people. Love is what drives you - and you have a love to give. You enjoy making someone's day. You're full of surprises. What makes you celebrate: Being with the person you love on a special day At holiday get togethers, you do best as: The sentimental one On a holiday, you're the one most likely to: See it as romantic and special

What Holiday Are You?

Where else??

When given the choice of what he wanted to do for Father's Day...... we spent the afternoon at Cabela's Sporting Goods store. And what a store. This store has everything one needs for camping, hunting, fishing, etc., there is also a shooting gallery, a cafe, and stuffed (of the taxidermy variety) wilderness and jungle animals. All in all, not a bad way to spend a few hours.