Saturday, June 27, 2009

One year ago today...

...on another rainy, cloudy June 27th, a police officer came knocking on my door. With the words, "is there someplace we could talk?" my world started to unravel. So unexpectedly, Paul was called home to be with our heavenly Father. His life here on earth was done and we were to continue living without his physical presence here in our lives. It has been a tough year to say the least. So much my children and I have had to learn... how to fix and do the things Paul did; how to navigate the world of insurance forms, autopsies, social security, and title tranfers and most importantly; how to support and encourage each other when we all grieve so differently; how to enjoy being with one another again without Paul's laughter; how to sit and eat dinner as a family with his chair empty, and how to be a family in a single parent home. One year seems like such a brief moment. Some days the grief still sneaks in from no-where and catches us by surprise. BUT... we are moving forward. I am trying hard ot keep my promise to Paul that we will make him proud. We still cry at times, we still miss his presence. I think I have come to the conclusion that in some way a small part of that "grief" will stay with us forever. This has truley changed us, it's a part of us, it had formed us into the people we are today. We loved (and still love)Paul deeply, and so we hurt deeply. But, inspite of the hurt our hearts still feel at times, we choose to laugh, we choose to love, and we choose to go on living the lives God has laid out before us. We find hope in our faith, we find joy in the things we do together, and we find love in our family and friends!

Today two of Paul's brothers and their families and Paul's mother joined us at the cemetery. The military gives a footplate to a deceased vetran and today Paul's was placed in the ground. We each had an opportunity to sign the back of the footplate and Paul's brother Tim did a wonderful job making the cement slab the plate is now mounted to.

Then, today Tim, Steve, James and Myriah "planted" it.

It looks great!

After lunch here at the house, the three older kids joined Paul's mom for a cousin's wedding celebration (a wedding is not my first choice of activites for today, so I am glad the kids had a chance to go as I know they will have fun.) The younger kids and I will be joining Tim, Jen and Ava for some fun at a food fest. All in all, not a half bad day!

Thanks for all the love, support, and encouragement from all of our family and friends this past year. We would not have come this far without each and everyone of you! We love you all and pray for you often!


meredith said...

The kids and I went to the cemetary, and you're right- the new foot stone looks great. Thoughts and prayers sent your way.

Family said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you today, wish we could be together.

David, Kari & Will